"When Christopher Myers asked his uncomfortable questions about the apartheid in children’s lit, the industry hid behind The Market. The publishing industry, people often say as if it’s a gigantic revelation, needs to make money and as such, it responds to The Market, and people don’t buy books about characters of color. This is updated marketing code for ‘you people don’t read,’ and it’s used to justify any number of inexcusable problems in literature. ‘The Market is so comfortably intangible,’ Myers writes, ‘that no one is worried I will go knocking down any doors. The Market, I am told, just doesn’t demand this kind of book… because white kids won’t buy a book with a black kid on the cover — or so The Market says, despite millions of music albums that are sold in just that way.’
By blaming an intangible force, the publishing industry absolves itself of any responsibility, when in fact it is very much in the business of manipulating The Market to its ends. ‘Those conversations happen without acknowledging that there’s a huge disparity in how books are marketed and publicized,’ Sarah McCarry tells me. McCarry worked publishing on and off for a decade, most recently at a New York literary agency. ‘That money and attention overwhelmingly goes to what the industry has already decided is ‘marketable’—heterosexual narratives featuring white characters. A book has very little chance of doing well if there’s no marketing push behind it.’”
This is the essay I have been waiting, for a very long time, for someone with more insight than I to write.
It is also the essay that I was most frightened to read because as a writer of color, it fills me with unspeakable anxiety and dread to consider how my writing will be received by an industry that, to varying degrees, writing by people of color to be disgusting and regards it with condescension and disdain.
I’ve heard horror stories about how writers of color are browbeaten and bled of their voices and art to make their writing more appealing to white people under the guise of “critique” and “craft.”
I am afraid. Yes, I am scared to death. But I’m going to write anyway.
What Daniel José Older highlights here does not merely apply to the publishing industry; it applies to all forms of media from comic books to television to music to film to whatever else you can think of.
— Mother Teresa
People can forgive toxic parents, but they should do it at the conclusion—not at the beginning—of their emotional housecleaning. People need to get angry about what happened to them. They need to grieve over the fact that they never had the parental love they yearned for. They need to stop diminishing or discounting the damage that was done to them. Too often, “forgive and forget” means “pretend it didn’t happen.”
I also believe that forgiveness is appropriate only when parents do something to earn it. Toxic parents, especially the more abusive ones, need to acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and show a willingness to make amends. If you unilaterally absolve parents who continue to treat you badly, who deny much of your reality and feelings, and who continue to project blame onto you, you may seriously impede the emotional work you need to do. If one or both parents are dead, you can still heal the damage, by forgiving yourself and releasing much of the hold that they had over your emotional well-being.
At this point, you may be wondering, understandably, if you will remain bitter and angry for the rest of your life if you don’t forgive your parents. In fact, quite the opposite is true. What I have seen over the years is that emotional and mental peace comes as a result of releasing yourself from your toxic parents’ control, without necessarily having to forgive them. And that release can come only after you’ve worked through your intense feelings of outrage and grief and after you’ve put the responsibility on their shoulders, where it belongs."
— Susan Forward, Toxic Parents, ch 9 (via fromonesurvivortoanother)
In a statement, ISNA President Imam Mohamed Magid said:
"Our thoughts and prayers go out for the victims and families of this tragic shooting at the Jewish Community Center of Greater Kansas City. Extremism and hate-motivated actions have no place in our society. We stand in solidarity with the Jewish community and people of other faith traditions in challenging hate and intolerance that feeds these unjustified acts of violence."
"American Muslims join their fellow citizens in standing in solidarity with the American Jewish community in condemning this deadly hate attack and in offering condolences to the loved ones of those killed and injured. We are saddened by this vicious act of hatred. Americans of all faiths must join together to reject the kind of extremist ideologies that can lead to such inexcusable and unconscionable acts."
— Tariq Ramadan (via tariqramadan)